Christmas '94
Dear Family and Friends,
Most of you have a general idea as to the "nuts and bolts" of our past year. For those who don't, Heidi developed epilepsy as a result of the radiation treatments in 1985. She needed some minor eye surgery and was knocked down (accidentally) in school and broke her hip necessitating surgery and nearly four months in a wheelchair along with constant physical therapy. Justin's struggles with the ADHD continue to be family struggles. Galen simply bounces around, usually attended by a pack of boys.
There were a significant number of other "items", but I won't get into them now. Justin had his own (tongue-in-cheek) idea of what this letter should contain. He says to write, "Dear Folks: This is our newsletter to tell you how our year went. It can be summed up in one word. Havoc. That's all for now. See you next year."
How true. Unending struggle and bone deep exhaustion all but strangled us. But thankfully, we have a Lord Who is too gracious to leave it at that. He lovingly takes the havoc of our lives and uses it to shape those lives into something far more glorious than we would have ever had without it, if we will but allow Him. I think of Isaiah's words spoken from God, "I will give you the treasures of darkness.” It seems to me that many of the substances that we consider the most precious such as diamonds, gold, and rubies are formed hidden away in the dark of the earth, under great pressure. Then, to be cut and crafted, they must be brought up to the light of day.
So, it is with us.
Each of us at some point in our lives will most likely find ourselves in a situation either of great pressure or deep sorrow. If we feel ourselves to be far away from God, it can be too much to bear. We've seen marriages crumble and lives fall apart on that fourth floor of Children's Hospital where Heidi spent so much time during the worst of her illness. And to say, "Yes, I am a Christian" isn't enough. Religion, per se, can be awfully cold comfort in those frigid surgical corridors when your child's life hangs in the balance yet again. It takes something more.
Far more.
It takes knowing personally, "face to face", a God who deeply cares. It takes feeling His arms of mercy wrapped tightly around you, certain that whatever the outcome, He has promised to never leave you or forsake you. We can tell you from our own experience that He stays with us in the midst of the storm and will saturate us with peace. Indeed, He longs to do so.
Yet I think too often as children we were taught (perhaps unintentionally) of a distant God; a God who is "up there" as an overseer, a celestial Santa Claus who watches us only to see if we're "naughty or nice" so "you'd better not cry, you'd better not pout"... Because if you do, you won't be worthy of anything good, only fit to receive a ruined stocking, blackened with coal.
It almost seems as if we were taught of a rather insipid God who has no real emotions other than some nebulous, benign, but rather detached sort of "love" that is counter balanced by His "righteous wrath" that coldly waits to judge us.
This is so far from who He really is that it is frightening. Instead, both Old and New Testaments show a passionate God; a desperately loving God; a God so desperate to win the love of those He created in His own image, that He laid aside His glory to become one of them... a God so full of love that He could no longer bear to see the suffering of His people, even though they had brought it upon themselves. In His agony over them He said, "For a long time I have kept silent, I have been quiet and held Myself back. But now, like a woman in childbirth, I cry out, I gasp and pant.” (Isaiah 42: 14)
These are not the words of some bland and detached God.
And neither does He expect blandness from us with our emotions neatly packaged and sterilized. He knows what we are like.
Really.
More than we know, ourselves.
He sees us clearly, to our depths, behind all of the pretense -- yet still He desires to love us... should we but come to the point of opening the door to Him.
So when life becomes difficult (as it is wont to do at times) and seems too much to take, remember this: it was Jesus, the Lord Himself, who did not stay far away from us, somewhere in the distant "heavens". Instead, He chose to become one of us in the form of a helpless baby. He did not chose a wealthy and protected palace in which to be born, but rather a stable where He was attended by no one except the animals there and a few rough and bewildered shepherds. It was Jesus who grew up and faced all the same hopes, sorrows, and temptations that we do; yet, unlike us He never sinned. And throughout the whole of scripture, it is Jesus as Lord who says to all those who are willing to listen:
– Come to Me, all of you...
All of you who are weak,
Who are weary and burdened down,
and I will give you rest.
Bring yourselves to Me just as you are with all of your fears and hopes and frustrations.
Do not wait until you feel that you have been able to hide yourself under some cloak
of "goodness", because I already know you. I know how you are.
I know the hurt. I know the pain. I walked the earth just as you do.
Have you forgotten that you are made in My own image?
Many of the things that hurt you are those that pierced My own heart.
I, too, have known rejection. I, too, have known the loneliness of having a heart full of love with no one to receive it. I, too, have known the deep hurt of watching My beloved children suffer and die.
So come - and take My yoke upon you... leave the other ones behind.
Learn from Me. Let Me teach you. You will see that I am gentle with you. My feelings towards you are tender; My heart towards you is humble. Because of this, you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is not that of weariness and chafing.
No. It is one that is made to fit you, and not harm you, for I know how I have made you to be.
That which I give you to carry you will find light and good to bear.
I stand here and wait for you. I long to put My arms around you.
That is why I became one of you. Do not hold back because you are afraid.
Bring your sins and sorrows to Me and cry them into My heart.
Bring your heart to Me.
And then I can touch you and give you my joy and My peace that will have no end.
For I alone, am He. I am the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.
And I love you,
deeply love you
and that means all of you, not just the parts you deem acceptable.
Know that I, alone, am the One who heals.
And I will heal you because of My deep love for you. –
In this light, our Christmas blessing to you echoes with the words of the apostle, Paul: We pray that you would come to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is Christ's love for you. And that you would know for yourselves this glorious love He has for us that goes far beyond our ability to understand. Then you will be filled with the fullness of God and His peace.
With love always,
Patty, Michael, Heidi, Justin, and Galen Christopher.
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